


Highway to Hell

by veronicahague



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Angst and Feels, But with a happy ending i promise, Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, F/M, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Multi, Post-Canon, Road Trips, TRC exchange 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-16 03:18:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13045389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veronicahague/pseuds/veronicahague
Summary: Adam and Ronan embark on a cross country road trip during Adam’s winter break at Harvard to go surprise Blue, Gansey, and Henry.Drama ensues.(ft. ley lines, self-doubt, and the repercussions of engaging in long distance relationships)





	Highway to Hell

**Author's Note:**

  * For [coslyons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coslyons/gifts).



> Here’s my @trc-exchange gift for Kace/[Coslyons](http://coslyons.tumblr.com)
> 
> I sort of took one of your prompts and blurred it together with some other au ideas that had been bubbling in the back of my brain for a while. I had so much fun writing this and I hope you like it <3 (and thank you so much to [burn-it-slow](http://burn-it-slow.tumblr.com) for beta’ing!)

“Adam, you forgot your – “

Adam comes to an abrupt stop at the sound of his TA’s voice, and one of the students filing out of the classroom behind him slams into his back. Adam mutters a sincere if rushed apology to his classmate.

“Thanks!” he says as he grabs his phone from the TA, ready to take off again. Ronan is supposed to be arriving in the next 15 minutes and Adam _really_ doesn’t want to leave him alone with his roommate any longer than he has to.

Not that Ronan would be rude to Kyle – Ronan knows better than to be outwardly rude to any of Adam’s classmates – but that doesn’t mean that Adam’s roommate wouldn’t do something to seriously test Ronan’s patience in the meantime. Even Adam, who tends to be the diplomatic one in the relationship, has been driven to the brink of insanity by his roommate more often than he’d like to admit.

Sure enough, by the time Adam’s sprinted across the campus, Ronan’s charcoal grey BMW is parked in the lot outside his dorm. Adam sighs, takes out his keys, and trudges through the main hall of his building and up to his room.

He braces himself for an onslaught of inappropriately personal questions from Kyle as soon as he opens the door but is pleasantly surprised to discover their room is completely empty aside from Ronan (who has somehow managed to fall asleep on his tiny twin bed in the 5 or 10 minutes since he must have arrived).

Adam takes his jacket off and hangs it over the back of a chair before walking over to the bed and gently pushing the hair back from Ronan’s forehead to wake him up. Ronan’s hair has started to grow out a bit from the buzz cut he’d maintained all throughout the summer. Now that the weather was starting to get colder, he’d given into Adam’s demands to see what he looks ‘with hair’ (Adam had pointedly ignored Ronan grumbling that he already _had hair.)_

It’s still strange for Adam to see Ronan with soft curls growing in rather than the choppy bristles left behind by his razor, but it makes Ronan look softer and more approachable. It also makes Adam want to spend all his time playing with Ronan’s hair (apparently, he does have a counter to Ronan’s hand kink, who knew?)

Ronan stirs, his eyes opening and darting around the room in confusion until he spots Adam leaning over him.

“You’re late,” he grumbles, his voice still a bit dry from his impromptu nap.

Adam grins. “I warned you class might run over. And besides, it seems like you didn’t have to deal with Kyle so it can’t have been too bad of a wait.”

Ronan grimaces and sits up, running a hand over his face. “I had to deal with the asshole long enough to be let inside.”

Adam nods. “I kind of assumed you just found a way to break in.”

Ronan rolls his eyes but pulls Adam towards him. Adam grins and meets his mouth in a kiss that, even after a year of dating, still makes him melt on the inside.

“Do you want to grab dinner or should we start packing?” Adam asks, eyeing the piles of clothing he’s going to need to sort through before they leave the next morning.

“You haven’t packed yet?” Ronan looks genuinely surprised, not that Adam can blame him. He’s usually mister-on-top-of-everything.

“I was a bit busy with studying for midterms,” Adam retorts defensively. Ronan grins and stretches out again on the bed.

“How about you pack your shit while I go back to sleep and then we can go grab food afterwards.”

Adam sighs and Ronan gives him a look. “Hey man, I just drove for like 9 hours straight. I need my beauty sleep.”

Adam rolls his eyes but gives him another quick kiss. “Fine, point taken. I’ll wake you up in an hour.”

Ronan’s out like a light before Adam’s even gotten his suitcase open. Adam shakes his head fondly and starts digging through his clothes to try and find anything even remotely appropriate for Southern California.

 

***

 

“Tell me they have real food too,” Ronan mutters as he surveys the vast spread of gluten-free, vegan, and GMO-free foods Adam’s putting onto his tray.

Adam rolls his eyes and points to the hot foods bar. “Over there, your highness.”

In truth, Adam isn’t particularly into the whole healthy eating movement. Mostly he just likes the idea of being able to eat things that are good for him for once rather than whatever is cheapest. He makes sure to throw a package of Cheez-Its onto his tray too for good measure before meeting Ronan over by the hot foods bar.

Ronan pokes dispassionately at the chicken pot pie. “This is real meat and not like, some shitty plant-based substitute, right?“

Adam snorts. “Says the farmer.”

“Just because I grow plants doesn’t mean I want them in every fucking thing I eat –” Ronan begins indignantly but he’s cut off by someone calling his name from across the room.

Adam’s head jerks up to see Graham Partridge grinning at him as he makes his way towards them through the dining hall.

Graham is Adam’s lab partner. He’s also part of the same broader friend group as Adam, which means they often end up sitting together at breakfast and other shared meals.

“Hey Graham.” Adam replies casually as he drops a few fried potatoes on his plate. Just because he’s trying to eat healthier doesn’t mean he’s completely cut out _all_ the good things in life.

Next to him, Ronan is trying too hard to look like he’s not fazed by Graham’s sudden appearance. Adam realizes Ronan’s never actually met most of Adams’s friends and is probably doing his best to look like the thought of sitting next to 15 Harvard freshmen he’s never met before doesn’t make him want to run for the hills.

With two parents in politics and a trust fund that’s worth more than Ronan, Declan, and Matthew’s combined, Graham is like a modern-day member of the Kennedy family. Upon meeting him for the first time and seeing his straight white teeth, wavy brown hair, and warm hazel eyes up close, Adam had been left with the distinctly uncomfortable realization that Graham was basically Richard Campbell Gansey the Third of New England.

Adam puts his free arm around Ronan’s shoulder and turns him to face Graham. “Graham, this is Ronan, my boyfriend. Ronan this is Graham, my lab partner.”

“And friend,” Graham is quick to add. His face had looked pained for a brief moment but he quickly manages to force his expression back into one of pleasant politeness.

Ronan doesn’t bother hiding his glower.

“So, this is where you disappear to every other weekend, huh?” Graham asks, waggling his eyebrows in a way that should be ridiculous but still manages to look dignified.

“It’s not every other - ,” Adam starts to retort, cutting himself off when he can literally feel the tension radiating off of Ronan.

Graham, oblivious, gestures to the table of their friends behind him. “You’ll join us for dinner, right? We want to hear all about this Great American Road Trip you have planned. You’re surprising your other friends in California, right? That sounds so cool.”

Adam, sensing that the sooner he separates Ronan and Graham the better it will be for everyone, shakes his head. “We’re leaving early tomorrow morning actually so it’s going to be an early night for us. Say hi to everyone for me, though. I’ll catch you guys up when I get back.”

As if he’s finally been given permission to leave, Ronan marches towards the exit. Graham frowns but rests his hand on Adam’s upper back, turning towards his good ear. “Well, I hope you have a great time in California. Say hi to the ocean for me.”

He winks at Adam before pulling away, his hand lingering for just a moment longer before Adam can safely make his escape.

“…Sure thing, Graham. See you next week.”

Adam waits until they’re safely in the corridor before he lets out the breath he was holding.

“Did you purposely befriend Tad Carruthers’ clone or was that just a happy accident?” Ronan asks, taking a savage bite out of one of the fish sticks on his plate.

“He’s not that bad, Ronan.”

“ _Say hi to the ocean for me_ ,” Ronan mimics unkindly, though Adam can’t deny the impression is fairly spot on.

“He’s just happy to have a friend who wasn’t hand selected and approved by his parents for once. He’s trying to figure out who he is outside of his family. I think that’s pretty commendable.”

Ronan doesn’t bother responding, picking at his leather bracelets. Adam sighs and takes Ronan’s free hand with his own.

“Come on. Let’s eat in my room so we can go to bed faster. That nap can’t have done much to help your exhaustion.”

Ronan wordlessly lets Adam lead him back up to his floor.

 

***

 

When Adam’s alarm goes off at 5am the next morning, it’s safe to say he is not a happy camper. Ronan groans next to him and grabs at the closest pillow, rolling over and shoving it over his ears.

Adam stops the alarm and lets out an impressive yawn. “I’m gonna shower. You need to be dressed and ready to go in like 20 minutes if we want to stay on schedule.”

Ronan gives Adam a sarcastic thumbs up, his face still smothered beneath the pillow.

“I mean it. 20 minutes.” Adam repeats with a stern voice as he heads over to the shared bathroom.

Ronan’s thumbs up turns into a thumbs down. Adam snorts.

“I’ll bring back coffee.”

Ronan grumbles but lifts the pillow up just enough so Adam can hear him grumble, “Two sugars.”

 

***

 

By the time Ronan’s installed in the driver’s seat 35 minutes later, he’s remarkably more alert … though that’s about all that can be said for him. He’s been more subdued than normal since arriving, something Adam had attributed to the long drive from Singers Falls to Boston, but even after a good night’s sleep he’s still a little bit off.

“You have a map?” Adam asks as he rifles through the glove compartment. Ronan actually pauses in the middle of adjusting his mirrors and pulls his phone out of his pocket, shoving it into Adam’s hands.

“Parrish. Do you know what year it is or do I need to stop by the ER before we get going?”

Adam gives him his best unimpressed look. “Just because we _can_ use Google Maps doesn’t mean we should rely on it. It’s always better to have an actual map as backup.”

“Okay _Gansey_. I’ve done this drive before a few times. It’s basically impossible to get lost.”

This is news to Adam. “You’ve been up to the border before?”

Ronan shrugs. “Dad used to drive us up to see the Falls every couple of summers, when he was home. He said it was the one bit of magic left in the world.”

Ronan rolls his eyes recalling his dad’s words, but his expression is full of fondness.

Adam smiles. “Okay.”

Ronan’s eyes narrow suspiciously. “Okay? That’s it? No diatribes about road safety?”

Adam shoves him lightly. “Jesus, you really do think I’m Gansey don’t you. Okay as in I trust you. If you say you’ll get us there, I believe you.” As if to punctuate his point, Adam slams the glove compartment shut with a dramatic flair.

Ronan nods approvingly and starts the engine. “Alright, Parrish, this is it. No turning back now.”

Adam leans forward and kisses Ronan. “Hurry up, will you? I want to get to this gigantic waterfall before it’s too dark to see anything.”

“They light the fucking thing up at night,” Ronan mumbles as he turns the key in the engine and pulls out of the Harvard campus and heads towards the I-90.

 

***

 

Adam had never been outside of the country. Hell, before getting accepted into Harvard he’d never been outside of the Tri-State area. It was his secret shame, the thing he’d had no control over as a child but that had remained a heavy weight on his shoulders during his years at Aglionby. It’d only gotten worse since he’d started at Harvard, surrounded by the worldly, well-traveled children or politicians, artists, and scientists.

Ronan knew this, of course, and while he didn’t exactly understand Adam’s embarrassment, he understood how important it was for Adam to finally see something bigger than the state of Virginia and the city of Boston.

And so, the idea of the road trip had been born. Ronan had oh so casually asked Adam when his Winter break was, and then had oh so casually asked Gansey which part of the country he, Blue, and Henry planned to be in during the week of December 20th.

Gansey had been suspicious when he’d answered, but upon hearing Ronan’s ultimate plan, had gone completely silent for a long moment. “You’re coming to San Diego???” He’d exclaimed, the question marks audible even over the phone.

They’d confirmed that they were, in fact, going to visit them in San Diego, but they told Gansey to keep it a secret. They wanted the chance to properly surprise Blue and Henry.

It would take 5 days to make it all the way over to southern California from one coast to the other, but it was happening. Their first stop? Buffalo, New York. With a side trip to Niagara Falls, of course.

 

DAY 1 – BUFFALO, NEW YORK 

 

“It’s just … it’s so much water.”

Adam was sure the look of awe on his face was ridiculous but he hardly cared. He’d grown up hearing about things like Niagara Falls and the Grand Canyon and now he finally, finally got to see them.

“Kind of the point of a fucking huge waterfall, Parrish,” Ronan retorts, but Adam can tell he’s pleased to have been the one to show it to Adam.

Adam leaned further over the railing, squinting at something in the water.

“Is that a boat?”

Ronan grinned. “Yeah, _Maid of the Mist_. You wear a stupid ass poncho and get soaked as the damn boat goes under the waterfalls.”

Ronan pauses, a look of horror on his face. “Please tell me you don’t want to go on the _Maid of the Mist_.”

Adam lets the silence drag out for just a little bit longer, enjoying the thrill of getting to be the one to torment Ronan for once, before he bursts out laughing. “Hell no. But you know you would have gotten right on that boat with me if I’d asked.”

“Fucker,” Ronan mutters, the look of relief on his face betraying his gruff tone of his voice.

“That wasn’t a denial,” Adam teases, grinning as Ronan throws his hands up and walks away.

 

***

 

They stay in a hotel in Buffalo that night. Since Adam and Ronan are splitting the bill, they’d chosen the modest but reasonable Comfort Inn near the Walden Galleria.

Adam groans and climbs under the covers of the bed as soon as they get in their room.

“I told you not to eat that much cheesecake in one go,” Ronan chides, but he wraps his arms around Adam as he lies down next to him.

“I’m on vacation and it was reasonably priced,” Adam grumbles. He’d never been to the Cheesecake Factory before and he’d been overwhelmed by the selection.

Ronan rubs a soothing hand up and down his back. “Sleep it off. You’ll feel less disgusting in the morning.”

“Speaking of which, I’m still driving tomorrow. You need a break.”

Ronan sighs but doesn’t try to pick a fight. As far as Adam’s concerned, that’s progress.

“You’re always looking after me but I want to look after you too,” Adam says as forcefully as he can.

Ronan’s hand stills on Adam’s back for a moment before picking up again.

“Fine, you can drive us to Indiana.”

Adam smiles and closes his eyes. Ronan takes a little bit longer to relax but eventually he too drifts off to sleep.

 

DAY 2 – INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA 

 

“So, you’re telling me I get to drive on the actual track?” Ronan looks excited by the thought of getting to drive the BMW on an actual race track. And not just any track: the Indianapolis Motor Speedway track, the most famous race track in the world. There was one catch, of course –

“Yeah, but you have to go slowly enough that we can see the Christmas lights.”

Ronan’s face contorts into an expression of bafflement and dismay as Adam pulls out his phone and shows him the event he’d booked tickets for.

“Lights at the Brickyard. The fuck?”

“So basically,” Adam says with the kind of patience he’s only been able to tap into after more than year of dating Ronan Lynch, “you get to drive on the track but the entire expanse of it is covered in Christmas lights. It’s a family friendly event.”

“But I want to speed.”

“It’s December. Which means snow. Also, as much as you might think otherwise, you’re not actually a professional race car driver.”

Ronan sighs but Adam can see the hint of a smile breaking through. “Matthew would love this shit. He’s crazy about Christmas.”

Adam smiles. “We can always bring him along next year.”

 

***

 

“Alright Parrish, I’ll admit this is pretty cool.” Ronan pulls off the tough guy act pretty well, but Adam knows that deep down he still gets excited about the holidays.

The lights up around the track are breathtaking. He’d booked the tickets with Ronan in mind but Adam’s surprised to find he’s enjoying himself quite a bit too.

Though, at this point, Adam’s come to realize he’d enjoy doing pretty much anything with Ronan. There’s a reason Adam thinks back to spending time with Ronan in his tiny little room at St. Agnes with such fondness (it definitely wasn’t _because_ of the room).

“I’m sure we can find an abandoned road somewhere for you to race down if you really want to,” Adam says.

“Nah, it’s okay. I can do that back home whenever.”

The more Adam thinks about it, he can’t actually remember the last time Ronan raced. It was always cathartic for him, a way to get out his aggression and his anger. As far as Adam knows, the last time Ronan had really pushed himself to the limit had been before Kavinsky had died.

That was a year and a half ago, though.

Adam puts his hand over Ronan’s on the gear stick. Ronan’s hand is warm despite the weather outside and Adam feels perfectly content to keep driving along at 25 miles an hour or whatever ridiculous (non) speed they’re going.

 

DAY 3 – OKLAHOMA CITY, OKLAHOMA 

 

“There’s a zoo, though I don’t know if it’s worth visiting during the winter.” Adam skims through the TripAdvisor page, looking for other tourist-y things worth doing in Oklahoma City. They hadn’t chosen Oklahoma as a rest stop so much as it had chosen them. Ronan hadn’t been sleeping very well and they’d decided to find a hotel a little bit earlier than they’d intended.

“I don’t care what the fuck we do so long as I get to sleep in a comfortable bed tonight,” Ronan decrees from the back seat. He’s currently spread out horizontally, his arm over his eyes.

Adam keeps scrolling. “They have an indoor botanical garden.”

Ronan lifts his arm off his face and meets Adam’s eyes. “Whatever you want, Parrish. Just find us a hotel first. I need a nap.”

 

***

 

The botanical gardens are beautiful, though they make Adam wistful for his long-gone connection with Cabeswater.

Ronan doesn’t say much as they walk through the trees and plants but Adam can tell that he’s just as absorbed in thoughts of Cabeswater.

When they get back to the hotel, Ronan walks straight into the bathroom and closes the door. Adam hears the shower running a moment later. Normally that would be an open invitation but Ronan’s demeanor alone is enough to keep him sitting right where he is.

There’s something troubling going on in Ronan’s head and Adam’s not quite sure how to deal with it. Ronan’s become much better at talking things out when it feels like everything is too much for him to handle alone, but there are still times when he pulls away from everyone, from Adam, shutting down until he’s got a handle on himself again.

By the time Ronan emerges from the bathroom, Adam’s already got a box of pizza sitting on the side table as dinner for the night.

Ronan grabs a slice and silently starts eating as he sits down on the bed, dressed in nothing but an off-white bath towel.

“So, for tomorrow, I was thinking maybe we should check in at the hotel before we go to the canyon. The less stuff we have to carry around the better, right?”

Ronan takes another bite of his pizza but doesn’t answer. Adam’s getting more frustrated than he’d like, but he attempts to plough ahead anyhow.

“Maura said we should put some time aside to explore Sedona, too. The ley lines are so strong they’re a new age-y tourist attraction.” Adam picks at his own pizza. “It’d be nice to feel so connected to the line again. I wonder if it’s the same one we’re on back home.”

“ _Home_ ,” Ronan repeats, like the word has offended him somehow.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Ronan shrugs, expression blank as he pretends like he doesn’t actually give a shit about the conversation. “Just haven’t heard you refer to Henrietta as home before.”

Adam takes a deep breath and counts to 5 in his head before responding. It’s ridiculous that something so stupid could light the fuse of his anger but hell, Ronan’s been acting weird all day. If anything, the kindling’s been building for hours.

“Henrietta is more than just the trailer park, asshole. I may not want to live there anymore but I don’t hate the entire town. A lot of good things happened there too.”

This seems to be news to Ronan. He raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “All you’ve said for years is that you can’t wait to get the hell out of Henrietta and never come back. Now I’m supposed to think you’ve developed a sudden fondness for it or some shit?”

Adam is not in the mood for this particular fight, but he can’t let Ronan have the last word either.

“I guess meeting my boyfriend and my best friends isn’t enough of a reason not to hate Henrietta anymore, never mind the literal quest of a lifetime that happened there. _Obviously_ , you know better than me what my feelings about it are.”

He throws what’s left of his pizza into the box and storms off to the bathroom, ready to take his own rage shower.

 

***

 

By the time Adam comes back from the bathroom, Ronan is asleep. Adam can’t help but notice the careful space he’s left between his side of the bed and Adam’s, the way he’s lying to take up the least amount of shared space as possible.

Adam rolls his eyes and gets in on his own side of the bed.

 

DAY 4 – SEDONA, ARIZONA 

 

The next morning is quiet, but it’s not the comfortable, companionable silence that usually falls between them. It’s loaded and heavy and quite frankly, Adam’s not even sure if they’re fighting, but he’s sure as hell not going to be the one to break first. Ronan being weird and closed off is what started this mess, and damn it, Ronan’s going to be the one to fix it.

The car ride to Arizona is quiet aside from the GPS giving them directions every so often. For once, Ronan isn’t passive aggressively blaring EDM to fill the silence. Adam interprets that to mean that Ronan knows this is mostly his fault even if he won’t ever admit to it.

They pass a sign on the highway indicating the turn off for Sedona is coming up. Ronan ignores it.

“We just missed the turnoff,” Adam says, his voice sounding much louder than it actually is after the hours of silence. Ronan makes no move to acknowledge that he’s heard Adam or even that Adam’s spoken at all. Adam grinds his teeth together and takes a deep, stabilizing breath.

“Did you hear me? We missed the turnoff for the hotel.”

“We’re not going to the hotel,” Ronan finally deigns to respond.

Adam’s hands clench together forcefully at his side.

“We agreed we’d stop at the hotel first and then go to the Grand Canyon.”

“No,” Ronan says, his voice infuriatingly calm (at least on the surface), “ _You_ said we’d go to the hotel first. But that’s a fucking stupid idea.”

“Excuse me?”

Ronan’s foot presses hard enough on the pedal for Adam to feel the car lurch forward, going considerably faster now than the posted speed.

“We save two hours by going right to the Grand Canyon from here. Aren’t you normally mister fucking practical? You should be happy.”

Adam takes another deep breath and resists the urge to grab the steering wheel.

“You can’t just make decisions like that without talking to me about it first, Jesus Ronan!”

Ronan rolls his eyes and his voice drips with condescension when he responds. “Right, cause you were in such a chatty mood this morning.”

And suddenly Adam cannot be in this car anymore or he’s going to do or say something he’ll regret later.

“Stop the car.” He says, his voice cold and monotone.

“We’re in the middle of the highway - ”

“Stop the fucking car, Ronan!”

Ronan stops the car. Adam gets out and slams the door behind him, walking up the road beside the dusty single lane highway.

He hears Ronan slam the door behind him.

“Isn’t this a little dramatic even for you?” He hears Ronan bite out. Adam whirls around, seeing red on the edges of his vision.

“Do you want me to go back to Boston?”

That stops Ronan right in his tracks, his face falling. “What?”

“I don’t know what the fuck is going on with you this week but I’ve had enough of it. I’ve been looking forward to spending this week with you for _months_ and you’ve managed to ruin it in 4 days.” Adam pauses, taking a deep breath. “I can just spend the rest of the break at school if you don’t want to be here with me.”

Ronan looks shell shocked, and it’s the first real expression of emotion Adam’s seen from him all day.

“You don’t mean that - ” He starts, his eyes darting around the desert. “We still have to go to the Grand Canyon - ”

“Fuck the Grand Canyon! I don’t want to see it with this weird whatever the fuck is happening between us.” Adam is hit with the overwhelming urge to cry and he absolutely hates it, hates everything about this moment. He doesn’t know what happened to bring them to this moment and he knows he’s most definitely overreacting but right now it doesn’t matter.

“Don’t fucking say that. I’m sorry, okay?” Ronan says, and it’s genuine enough that it stops Adam in his tracks.

“Why?” He asks in response, and it’s clearly not the question Ronan was expecting.

“Why?” Ronan repeats, the confusion in his eyes visible.

“Why are you sorry? Why are you going out of your way to be a dickhead?”

Ronan looks lost, and Adam realizes with a sudden bone deep certainty that Ronan probably doesn’t even know why he’s doing what he’s doing. He’s fallen back into the same old patterns from when he was in high school; lash out first, ask questions later.

“I didn’t mean to,” he says, his expression pained.

Adam looks down at his hands, looks at the dust covering his shoes, wonders how something he’d been looking forward to so much could have become such a let-down so quickly.

“Do you really want to go back?” Ronan asks after another long moment of loaded silence. Adam can hear the fear in his voice.

“I don’t know,” He responds truthfully. He doesn’t want to give up and give in to Ronan’s emotional tantrum but he also wants to enjoy his winter break. Sure, he wants to see Gansey and Blue and Henry but maybe some space from Ronan is what he needs right now.

Ronan blinks and takes a tentative step forward. “Don’t make any decisions tonight. Please.”

It’s the please that causes Adam to walk back from the metaphorical ledge. He shrugs, still not meeting Ronan’s eyes. That’s as much of an answer as he can give right now.

 

***

 

Eventually, the decision is made to turn back and head straight for Sedona. Adam’s definitely not in the mood to see the Grand Canyon now and the thought of being back on the ley line gives him some comfort.

The car ride is silent again, but this time it’s a different kind of silence. Adam can practically hear the gears shifting in Ronan’s mind as he thinks about what he can do to try and make amends, to fix things again so Adam doesn’t make good on his threat to go back to Boston.

Not that Adam particularly wants to do that. The thought of spending Christmas alone on campus isn’t a pleasant one, not when he knows what it’s like to spend the holidays with his chosen family instead. But Adam isn’t a pushover. He’s not going to let Ronan’s temper tantrums dictate his happiness.

To be honest, Adam is mostly just … confused. Ronan’s regressed back into his 17-year-old self right before Adam’s eyes, and he has no clue what could have caused it. As far as he knows, everything is great between them. Yeah, Adam going to school in Boston wasn’t exactly the easiest way to maintain their relationship, but Graham hadn’t been completely wrong when he’d teased Adam about going back to Virginia every other weekend. The truth was, they both made sure they could see each other in person for at least one night every month.

Sometimes that meant meeting halfway, sometimes that meant Ronan driving up and staying for the night, and one time it had meant Adam pushing back his pride and letting Ronan pay half of the fare for a plane ticket home over Thanksgiving.

Adam waits in the lobby while Ronan checks in with the front desk. He walks over to Adam with his hands in his pockets. His eyes look everywhere _but_ Adam’s face.

He stops a few feet away from him, leaving more distance than usual, and pulls a key out of his pocket.

“You can go up if you want.”

Adam frowns. “You’re not coming?”

Ronan looks up and finally meets his eyes. He holds his gaze for a moment before shaking his head. “I’ll come up later. I just need to clear my head.” He pauses. “I’ll bring back dinner.”

Adam bites the inside of his cheek but nods. Ronan looks conflicted and eventually takes Adam’s hand in his.

“I was really fucking looking forward to this trip too,” He says, his voice thick with emotion.

Adam suddenly feels about a hundred years old. He nods again, taking his hand back and walking to the elevators.

By the time the doors open and he gets inside, Ronan’s gone.

 

***

 

One minute Adam’s lying down on the hotel room bed intending to close his eyes and decompress for a bit and the next he’s in Cabeswater.

But Cabeswater’s gone, so he can’t be there … can he? It smells the same and looks the same. The trees greet him just as they used to, and he feels leaves press against his face as he stumbles deeper into the forest.

He hears voices a little ways off and he could swear one of them is Ronan’s. He speeds up, his connection with Cabeswater making him even more finely attuned to Ronan’s tension and anxiety than normal.

“ – I told you! I’ve moved on.”

Adam frowns, because that voice doesn’t belong to Ronan. It belongs to _him_.

He creeps forward, hackles raised, and peers through the foliage ahead to see Ronan standing across from Adam.

Adam’s brain short-circuits for a moment. He doesn’t look like that, does he? This version of Adam, the one staring Ronan down, has cold blue eyes and the kind of condescending look on his face that Adam didn’t even know he was capable of directed right at Ronan.

“Did you really think I wouldn’t outgrow you? You were fun, a good distraction, a warm body to sleep next to when I was lonely, but you can’t seriously believe we’re going to be together long-term, can you?”

Every cruel word out of this other Adam’s mouth is designed to wound.

“I love you,” Ronan says, and it’s not the first time he’s said it to Adam, but it’s the first time it’s sounded this full of anguish.

Other Adam rolls his eyes. “What we had was good while it lasted but you’re a high school dropout living on a farm in the middle of nowhere, Virginia. Don’t you get it? I’m too good for you.”

Adam wants to run out and scream at this Other Adam. He’s an impostor, and nothing he’s saying is even remotely true. Having grown up not just without love, but without basic affection and kindness, Adam knows how lucky he is to have Ronan in his life.

“I have a future, Ronan, and you’re not in it,” Other Adam continues, oblivious to the real Adam watching on in horror. “You can’t give me what I need. I worked my ass off to get a scholarship to Harvard but you couldn’t even manage to get your high school diploma.”

Ronan crumples and Other Adam scoffs. “I’m going to do things that matter and I’m done wasting my time on some small town nobody like you.”

There’s a rustling in the trees behind Other Adam and Adam holds back a choked gasp when he sees Graham Partridge emerge. Graham walks up behind Other Adam and looks at him with adoration. Adam gags as the two of them start kissing passionately right in front of Ronan.

Adam gasps as he bursts back into alertness, lying on the hotel room bed in the same place as before. It’s dark outside now, nearly 9pm, and Ronan is lying next to him on the bed, twitching and obviously still asleep.

Somehow Adam had been in his dream, had seen Ronan’s deepest, darkest fears actualized.

 _Ronan is an idiot_. As if Adam would ever want someone like Graham instead of him. As if Ronan isn’t the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

Adam impatiently shakes Ronan awake. Ronan’s eyes shoot open, fully alert and looking for danger.

When he sees the look on Adam’s face, he recoils. Oh right. Adam probably looks more like Other Adam than intended.

Rather than using his words, Adam takes Ronan’s face in his hands and pulls him into a kiss. Ronan freezes, clearly uncertain, but eventually he sinks into Adam’s embrace.

Once Ronan feels more relaxed, Adam slowly pulls away and forces Ronan to meet his eyes.

“You’re an idiot. As if I’d ever want someone like Graham when I have you.”

Ronan’s expression is one of pure naked panic. Clearly, he hadn’t known Adam was there to witness his confrontation with Other Adam.

“How did you - ?” Ronan asks and Adam shrugs.

“We’re on one of the strongest ley lines in the world. Magic is real. Shit happens, I guess.”

Ronan frowns. “How much did you see?”

“All of it.”

Ronan goes to turn his face away and close his body off but Adam won’t let him.

“Oh no you don’t. We clearly need to have this conversation.”

Ronan groans. “You just saw me at my lowest point in at least a fucking year. Do we really need to relive it?”

“Ronan,” Adam starts, “Your deepest and darkest fear is that I’m going to leave you for my lab partner.” He pauses to collect his thoughts. “What the fuck? Do you really have so little faith in us? In _me_?”

Ronan’s eyes widen. “No, Jesus, no. I trust you. It’s me I don’t trust.”

Adam frowns. “Well it’s _me_ that your subconscious cast as the cheating villain …”

“Your roommate told me Graham asked you out.” Ronan sighs. “He said there was like ... a vibe between you two and he wouldn’t be surprised if you hooked up before the end of the year. He said he just wanted to give me a heads up so I wouldn’t be surprised if you ended things with me.”

Adam’s brain makes a mental record scratch noise. “Kyle told you Graham asked me out and that it seemed like I was into him? _And you just believed him_?”

Now it’s Ronan’s turn to look confused. “… I saw how Graham looked at you. I know you’re oblivious sometimes, Parrish, but he’s clearly into you.”

“I know,” Adam says. Ronan opens his mouth to snap something unkind and Adam holds a hand up.

“No, shut up for a second. Let me talk.” Adam scrubs a hand down his face. “I know Graham likes me, but he’s never asked me out. We’re not friends, Ronan. We stand next to each other at the same lab station and occasionally sit at the same lunch table but that’s literally the extent of our interactions.”

“Then why - ” Ronan starts and Adam sighs.

“Because Kyle is Graham’s best friend. He’s been making it his mission to try and hook us up since September, blatantly ignoring the fact that I’m not interested.”

Ronan shakes his head, baffled. “What a fucking asshole.”

Adam laughs. “I know. I’ve told him to leave me alone and to stop meddling and I thought he’d finally listened. Apparently, he couldn’t resist the temptation to mess with you when the opportunity presented itself.”

Ronan looks stunned. “So Kyle lied.”

Adam falls back on the bed. “Kyle lied,” He agrees, staring at the ceiling. “Graham is an okay dude but he knows I’m seeing you. He’s never done anything more than make the occasional flirty comment.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ronan asks, his voice curious rather than defensive.

“Tell you what, exactly?” Adam demands, his annoyance flaring up a bit again. “Some guy in my class seems like he has a crush on me but hasn’t acted on it? It’s a non-story.”

“It’s just,” Ronan begins, voice already sounding sheepish. “It made me wonder what other things might have happened that I’ll never know about.”

“ _Nothing_ happened, Ronan.” Adam sighed, rolling over and burying his face in his pillow.

“I know that now. And I’m sorry I believed Kyle rather than just asking you about it.”

“But?” Adam mumbles into the pillow, knowing there’s more to it than just that.

“But,” Ronan continues. “It’s hard for me, sometimes. To know that I can’t offer you the same kinds of things that people like Graham can. Yeah, I’ve got money, but I can’t give you the same opportunities that your Ivy League people can.”

Adam lifts his face up from the pillow and glares at Ronan. “You’re missing something really fucking obvious, Lynch. I can give myself those opportunities. I don’t need some fancy politician’s son as a boyfriend in order for Harvard to mean something. The entire reason I’m there is to make my own future for myself.”

Adam sighs. “I thought we were on the same page, but I guess not.”

Ronan tentatively takes Adam’s hand in his own, running his fingers over the knuckles. “But what if you _do_ outgrow me? I love you, and I know you love me, but that doesn’t change the fact that we want different things out of life.”

Adam doesn’t answer right away. Ronan’s question is significant, and it deserves a well thought out response.

“I’m not interested in being with someone who’s a carbon copy of me. I love you because of who you are and what you want out of life, not in spite of it. And besides, as you so casually mentioned before, _you’re rich_. It’s not like we can’t figure out some kind of living situation that works for both of us.”

Ronan nods, looking far calmer and much more at ease than he has in the entire time since he showed up at Adam’s dorm.

“I’m sorry. I know I was a dick and I know I took my anxiety out on you.” He pulls Adam’s hand up to his mouth and kisses the back of it. “I didn’t mean to ruin our trip.”

Adam leans forward and pulls Ronan into another kiss. “You didn’t ruin the whole trip, just today.” He pauses. “Besides, I wasn’t exactly helping the situation either. I didn’t mean to blow up like that.”

Ronan smiles. “I’m glad you don’t take my shit.” He looks at the clock on the night stand. “You hungry? I brought back burritos. Though they’re probably soggy and cold as shit by now.”

Adam laughs. “There’s a microwave in here, right? I’m sure they’ll be fine.”

The reheated burritos don’t taste good, per se, but they’re filling and Adam’s too distracted by the return of Ronan – his Ronan – that he barely tastes them anyway.

“We still need to see the Grand Canyon,” Ronan eventually says, his voice a bit cautious.

Adam shrugs. “Let’s just focus on getting to San Diego in one piece. We can always stop by on the way back home.”

Ronan nods. “Whatever you want.”

Adam shakes his head. “No, whatever _we_ want. We’re both equals in this relationship. I don’t ever want you to think I could treat you like the version of me in your head did. I’m not that person, Ronan.”

Ronan bites at the leather bracelet closest to his wrist. “I know. It’s just hard to think that I actually fucking get to be with you, you know? Like I still have to pinch myself sometimes because I never thought I’d get something like this.”

Adam smirks and rests his head on Ronan’s shoulder. “Funny, I feel exactly the same way.”

 

DAY 5 – SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA 

 

The drive from Sedona to San Diego isn’t too bad, and certainly not much longer than any of the previous stretches on their trip. Adam is buzzing with excitement to see his friends after such a long time apart.

Blue, Gansey, and Henry had left for their road trip at the beginning of the summer, and Adam has only seen them once since then.

Gansey had texted Adam the address of the beach house they’d rented and had told them he’d try to keep Blue and Henry distracted so Ronan and Adam could sneak inside and really give them a shock.

Ronan pulls the car into the driveway of the beach house and kills the engine but doesn’t make a move to get out of the car.

Adam rests his hand over Ronan’s on the gearshift.

“I can’t believe we’ve only been on the road for 5 days. It feels like it’s been at least a month in the car already.” Adam says, rubbing his thumb over the back of Ronan’s hand.

Ronan snorts. “And we get to do it all the fuck over again on the way home.”

Adam groans and lets his head fall back against the headrest. “I changed my mind. Let’s stay here for Christmas.”

Ronan cackles and gets out of the car, slamming the door behind him.

The front door is unlocked (courtesy of Gansey) and Adam follows Ronan inside, his duffel bag slung over his shoulder. He drops it next to Ronan’s by the front door.

“So, what are we going to do to surprise – ” Adam begins but he’s cut off by a tiny black-haired shape hurling itself at him in the most aggressive hug he’s ever experienced.

“ADAM, I SWEAR TO GOD,” he hears Blue exclaim in his good ear as her arms tighten around him.

“Sargent, you’re killing him,” Ronan says, his voice entertained on the surface but hinting at genuine concern.

Blue gets the message and lets go of Adam, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before turning to glare at Ronan.

“You ASSHOLE!”

She launches herself at him next, and they end up collapsing on the couch with Blue on top of Ronan, smacking him in the chest.

Adam watches on in amusement until he feels a hand on his shoulder. He turns to see Gansey smiling his genuinely happy smile, crinkles by his eyes and everything.

“I see you managed to surprise Blue.” He says, still grinning as Adam extends his hand for a fist bump.

The play fighting on the couch comes to an abrupt stop as Blue picks up on Gansey’s words.

“You knew????” She demands, and Gansey realizes his error.

“We had to figure out where you assholes would be so we could come by,” Ronan says.

Henry wanders in as Ronan is speaking, a towel slung around his shoulders.

“Oh, hey guys,” he says with a grin. “I was wondering when you’d get here.”

Gansey and Blue both turn to him in shock.

Henry shrugs. “You’re not as quiet on the phone as you think you are, Richardman.”

Gansey gapes. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Henry fist bumps Adam and salutes Ronan where he’s still sprawled on the couch with Blue sitting on top of him.

“Didn’t want to ruin the surprise. Besides, you’re cute when you think you’re hiding something well.”

Adam snorts at the expression on Gansey’s face and goes to sit down on the couch next to Ronan, resting his head against his boyfriend’s shoulder.

Blue gets off Ronan’s lap and claps her hands together.

“You know what this means,” she says, directing her gaze at Henry. He grins, draping his towel over the nearest chair.

“Beach bonfire!” They both exclaim at the same time a moment later, grinning as they dash outside.

“The fuck?” Ronan grumbles.

Gansey takes a seat on Ronan’s other side and sighs. “There’s a really nice fire pit down by the beach. I imagine they’re checking to make sure we have wood.”

Like the five-year-old he still is on the inside, Ronan catches Adam’s eye before opening his mouth to make what must inevitably be a terrible dick joke.

Adam kisses him to shut him up. Ronan doesn’t seem particularly put out by the interruption.

“Ah yes,” Gansey says. “I’d forgotten you two were like this.”

Adam grins. “Don’t worry. I’m sure we’ll be back to bickering before too long.”

Ronan rolls his eyes but can’t hide the fondness in them. “There’ll be plenty of time for us to irritate the fuck out of each other on the drive home.”

Adam smiles. The Barns. Home. It seems like he and Ronan are finally on the same page after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a link [link to the original post on tumblr](http://saintagnesparrish.tumblr.com/post/168647754206/highway-to-hell-trc-exchange-fic). Thanks so much for reading and thank you to the mods for hosting this exchange it was a lot of fun to participate in.
> 
> Kace, your prompts were the perfect launch point for this fic. I hope you enjoyed it and it was a pleasure to write it for you!
> 
> Happy Holidays :D


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